There…I said it.
It takes too long to play, the field is too large and the game is too boring to be widely appreciated in America. BUT, one redeeming aspect of the game of Soccer is that it was the inspiration for the far superior athletic contest known as Foosball (or Table Football or…well, a bunch of other crap that doesn’t sound nearly as cool as “Foosball”).
Foosball is typically played with 8 rows of players controlled by 4 human players. The human players move their individual rows of players back and forth to help matriculate the ball down the field and score goals. There are organized competitions of the game being played worldwide constantly and 99.9% of participants are drinking as they play.
“Wait? You mean to say I get to drink AND play a game that requires very little skill, still observes many of the rules of soccer, but involves almost none of the physical strain and is actually fun?”
Yes. And I would never lie to you.
And if all that isn’t enough to convince you, it’s trick shot time motherf*****: