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Hooded Sweatshirts

3 Jan

The word “comfort” means a lot of things to a lot of people. But if you aren’t an idiot, the word comfort is synonymous with only one article of clothing: hooded sweatshirts.

Just think about it for a second. What’s the most comfortable item in your closet right now? And yes, I realize some of you live in warmer climates year-round. But who are you trying to kid moving to California? Your acting career is never going to pan out. And when you finally come to that realization, alone, while sitting on your IKEA sofa, what do you think you’ll pull over your head as you cry yourself to sleep? Why, a hooded sweatshirt bearing the logo of the college back East where you earned that liberal arts degree, of course.

But the humble beginnings of the hooded sweatshirt are much less dramatic than you. Created in the modern era for workers in New York’s frozen warehouses to help protect them from extreme cold, the hooded sweatshirt has evolved into the uniform of the skateboarding/surfing/hip-hop culture around the world. And in some cases they have been related directly to crime because of their ability to conceal the identity of the wearer. Really, the only crime at this point is in not owning one.

Make no mistake though. This is a truly dangerous article of clothing. Don’t believe me? Then do us all a favor and grab those strings on the end of your hoodie right now, pull tightly and don’t stop squeezing until you find yourself in the midst of the most luxurious coma you could ever imagine.

Sleep tight!