“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

17 Jan

The Chuck Norris of the WWE, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan was a force to be reckoned with for years inside of the squared circle. With a physique similar to that of your dad’s and a patriotism unrivaled by even the the reddest of rednecks, Hacksaw made a name for himself in professional wrestling though his eternal optimism and confusing use of awkward facial expressions.

And oh, how he loved his country. In fact, I can’t think of anyone more American. Duggan used to stroll to the ring waving an American flag, used a sturdy piece of American lumber to help defend himself when he got in trouble and, some say, had apple pie filling flowing through his veins instead of blood. And, really, what’s more patriotic than apple pie?

But James Stuart Duggan was often misunderstood. Some common myths about this legend of the ring:

  • He was not the smartest (FALSE: Duggan held a degree in Applied Plant Biology)
  • He was not the most athletic (FALSE: Duggan was signed by the Atlanta Falcons after graduating college)
  • He was not successful in wrestling (FALSE: Duggan held nine different titles during his time in wrestling and even won the very first Royal Rumble)

Never mind that ol’ Hacksaw was once pulled over with his then rival, The Iron Shiek, in New Jersey after they had been partying together all night. They probably weren’t even having a good time. All the cops found in that car when they conducted a search was alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. Lame.

But the best thing about Hacksaw was his subliminal diss to every opponent before, during and after each match. I mean, who else could get away with calling his opponent a “hooooooooooo” right to their face?

Only a pimp, my friends. Only a pimp.

Check him out below on some talk show no one’s ever heard of making absolutely no sense whatsoever. I promise, it will make your life seem that much more sane by comparison.

Hacksaw on Random Talk Show


One Response to ““Hacksaw” Jim Duggan”

  1. BJ 02/20/2010 at 12:29 am #

    Keep checking almost daily for unfulfilled promises of avant-garde intellectualism. Nothing is happening. Obviously you have become bored with the commitment of writing; consequently, so have I. I won’t check this site anymore. Now, the cyberspace is cluttered with waste matter.

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